Tuning Your Kit
The best instructional video I've found for tuning a kit is called: Drum Tuning, Sound & Design. It's a bit pricey as DVDs go, but if you're willing to spend several hundred dollars on a kit, you should be willing to spend $25 to learn how to tune it.
Beginning to Play
The best instructional text I've found for learning to play the instrument is: Alfred's Beginning Drumset Method. Be sure and get a copy with the DVD.
For stick control, I recommend checking out the Percussive Arts Society, an international organization for percussionists of all backgrounds and levels. It's an academic and professional organization that offers some wonderful, downloadable exercises in several formats for both members and non-members alike.
Here is a link to the organization's web site: www.pas.org
Here is a link to their fine resources on snare drum rudiments: